Could people read over my essay and give me feedback?! Would be a great help.?

omggg!! its like amazinggg:) good job, i really like the stats. ummm, im not sure what grade ur in but i kno at my school ur not allowed to use personal opinions in ur essay unless its a personal opinion essay. if urs isnt then i think ur should change that. also, essays have to be in present tense. there are a couple spots were u chaneg tenses, so u should fix that. and for ur conclusion...its okay. however it doesn't say anything about tech, it just focuses on cameras. maybee u should chaneg it to match ur opening paragraph. all and all though, its really good. i think u will get an A if u just make a few changes. GOOD LUCK:) ohhh!! also i forgot to tell u that u need to add citations after every number or stat or quote u get from the internet or book or watever. if u dont u will get a zero for plagerizing. just google how to do citations if u dont kno how toooo.